Monday, July 30, 2007

A Peek at God's Countenance

There is nothing worse than when your child is in pain. That is, except for when you are the one that caused their pain in the first place. Thursday night, Will and I were having our own version of World Championship Wrestling on the bed. The match was a full scale, championship death match full of body slams, pile drivers, and of course, high flying action off the top rope (the headboard). The match was great, until we got in trouble by a certain Elementary Principal that just so happens to be my wife. So, we toned it down and did away with the headboard layout slams and just stuck to the basic roughness. Then, it happened….

With him laughing hysterically, I lifted Will up in the air to do another body slam onto the bed. As I dropped him onto the mattress, I noticed that his arm was behind him, then I saw it bend the wrong way! I knew he was hurt even before the tears started to fall. I quickly picked him up and he was jumping around crying and holding his arm that was hanging limp by his side and not moving. I grabbed his forearm and felt it move up, then he started to move it again and the tears really began to pour. Long story short, I had most likely dislocated it at the elbow then popped it back in. The X-rays did not show any breakage, but the Doctor put it in a sling and said, “Don’t use it much until you see an orthopedist”… We did as told and decided to make this a nice weekend for him with a trip to Louisville Slugger, a baseball game (the River Bats and the Durham Bulls), and a trip to see Fort Knox and let him do some “Tankin” like Daddy used to do.

We had a great time this weekend, but as I downloaded the pictures into my computer this morning, I was sad. Just like in this picture (staged of course), I am sad when I see my son with his arm in a sling because I am reminded that, I did this to him… I was the one harmed him… I caused his pain. Me, his Daddy, his protector, I hurt him. I try to justify it with things like, ‘It was an accident,’ and ‘It’s all part of the game we were playing,’ and the catamount reason, ‘But I never set out to hurt him, it just happened’. Could God be teaching me something here?

Once again, God has reminded me that I hurt Him when I do not follow his lead and live outside of His will for my life. I know I’ve done things in the past that could have put His arm in a sling as I’ve body slammed my way through life. But I also know that there is healing through surrender. My friend Roy calls this being complete in your brokenness and I am starting to understand it more and more. I must be more broken and yield to His will if I’m ever going to have the abundant life He promises. I gotta’ be honest and say that I’ve been a bit dry spiritually as of late but this is a huge wake-up call. It’s taken the look of pain on my son’s face to be able to visualize what God’s countenance may be, and it scares me…

Friday, July 27, 2007

OPEN...Under Same Management

Well, I’m finally back to Man Coming Alive!! I’m refreshed, excited, more wise about side projects, and ready to get back to my true passion that is writing about the daily things, those little blessings that we miss most of the time. I’ve been gone from this blog for a few months and have to say I’ve missed it. I also have to say that I’ve missed the camaraderie with the likes of Andy, Hook, and all my other bloggin’ bros around the world.

So, that said, I’m back with a new page layout, less commercialism, and a new Spirit-led hunger to write. It took me a while to realize it, but this blog was more important to my walk than I ever realized. Thanks be to Him for revealing it to me!